I know I've railed on and on about maturity and what not in previous blog posts, but there is still massive confusion over the meaning of the term "adult." Since human beings have been given (well, at least most of us have been given) the ability to reason and to have a conscience and all those extra perks that our fellow mammals simply do not have, we often throw in our own meanings into the word (or any word, for that matter), which has led to this mass confusion of what exactly makes someone an adult.
First, we have to differentiate between biology's concept of an adult and society's concept of an adult, or at least what we (okay, most of us) agree on:
Biology's concept of an adult: Generally marked by the onset of puberty (the appearance of secondary sex characteristics in both men and women)
Society's concept of an adult: Generally marked by the person's ability to live a normal life with minimal to no assistance, aka self-reliance
There are tons of people that don't fit the self-reliance condition of being an adult. I was once asked if I would laugh at the things my peers and I did as a kid since I'm now an adult; I told him that not all of us are adults yet. I had a very good reason to say that: they're not self reliant and they have deluded themselves into thinking going into bars and that buying alcohol/cigarettes is what constitutes adulthood. They're still living off of their parents' dime and claiming to be adults, which really leads to a lot of confusion over the term. I know a guy whose dad foots the bill for practically everything (we're talking rent, utilities, even meals) and he claims to be more mature than everyone else. On that note, if you feel the need to say you're more "X" than everyone else, that is one of the biggest signs that you are not an adult.
The legal age to become an adult in most jurisdictions is 18 years of age. How many of us were self-reliant at 18? Living in mostly upper-middle class neighborhoods really led me to believe that being an adult was no different than being 16, except you could now smoke cigarettes, sign up for credit cards and all those perks that just require you to be 18 and not actually an "adult." There was no emphasis on self-reliance, because, after all, Mom and Dad picked up the bill most (if not all) of the time, and all you had to care about was whether or not you can party on Saturday with your friends or when your iPhone 5 was going to be shipped to your house.
It's time to redefine what an adult really is. I think self-reliance is the biggest (if not the most important) thing that defines an adult. That doesn't mean Mom and Dad can't help every now and then, but when it leads to complete dependence on Mom and Dad, that's still not adulthood. So here's a simple questionnaire that I've whipped up to see if you're an adult or not:
1. Can you do most (if not all) things expected of an adult with little to no assistance? (Having your own place, balancing a checkbook, filing your taxes and making sure you're under your credit limit on your credit cards are just a few of the most important things here)
2. Do you have a job or at least are looking for one?
3. Do you pay your own bills? (I know you can still be on your parents' health insurance until you're 26, if I recall correctly)
If you answered yes to all three, congratulations, you're an adult. If you answered no to all three and are over 18, you're still a child. If you said yes to at least one of those questions, you're on your way. Just because you're 18 doesn't make you an adult; there's a lot more to it than that.
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